Men are from Mars, or just treated that way?

One of Jeff Jarvis's posts elicited an observation by a self-described transsexual; excerpt follows:

One of the biggest joys ("comforts" might be a better word) of my new female status is that I no longer am the recipient of all the subliminal hostility. Which wasn't all that subliminal, if you get right down to it.

As a man walks down the street, pretty much everybody is evaluating him for potential danger. It's mild, but pervasive. I hear young black men have it even worse; but even middle-age white men get it. I find it much more peaceful over here on the women's side.

Glenn Reynolds (whose post drew my attention to this) comments:

Enough people have made this jump that it would be possible to interview a meaningful number and see what could be learned. Has anybody done that?

That I cannot answer, but those of us who have made another jump -- that into fatherhood -- might also be able to offer some insight. When I first walked down the street with my infant daughter, it was as if a magic wand had been waved over my head. It didn't take long to realize that something was going on beyond the expected attention lavished on a new baby. Strangers treated me completely differently, too. Suddenly I was safe -- a daddy and family man.

Perhaps turning into a woman would mark one as even safer, but what I've seen has been dramatic enough. And I can check out the other side every time I leave my daughters at home: suddenly I'm just another lone, not-safe male, with whom eye contact is to be strictly avoided.

PS This topic reminds me of a big-city friend's observation that women treated him entirely differently when he was carrying a box of laundry detergent. Not as powerful a sign as a baby, but still a marker of responsible domesticity.

Posted by David on February 16, 2004 5:11 PM